He has a face that could turn heads. He stands at a towering height of five feet and 10 inches. He exudes confidence when he walks. He’s friendly and approachable, a lady’s man perhaps. He has this irresistible charm that you just can’t simply turn down. He has an appeal that could draw every woman’s attention… and I wasn’t an exemption!
The first time I met him in the flesh was during one of their workshops. I was an intern at a productions company and he was one of the candidates of a male pageant that that certain company is organizing. The moment I’ve seen him I told myself, “The photo I have seen didn’t give justice to this fine creation of God standing in front of me! He’s far more attractive in person!” For a second I thought I won’t be able to get my eyes off this guy on a green polo shirt which highlighted his fair white skin and emphasized the good-looks he possess. And when we were introduced by one of my boss’ I was surprisingly amazed with how friendly and accommodating he was; then at that instant I developed a thing for him called… CRUSH.
From then on, I can’t help but get excited every time I see him. It feels like I’m a love-struck high school girl once again! It seems like my chinky eyes would suddenly transform into a pair of heart-shaped eyes every time he looks at me when we talk. I don’t want to sound like I’m another whining, low self-esteemed girl but never in my wildest dreams have I imagined that a guy as gorgeous as him would waste any of his time nor attention to a girl like me.
I mean HELLO?! What’s there to complain right? This is exactly what I have hoped to happen; for him to at least spare me even a millisecond of his time. And yes, I wouldn’t deny it! I love the attention he’s given me! I feel like I was the prettiest girl in the world every time he lends me those coveted time of his. It’s indisputably OVERWHELMING for me.
It was overwhelming, too overwhelming in fact to the point of having mistaken his friendship for something else. I thought he could like me, fall for me if not. He was an epitome of my modern-day prince charming… and I’m the damsel in distress that he has come for to be saved and protected.
I became so caught up with my admiration for him that my sense of reasoning was overpowered by my emotions. My reality was clouded by my self-made fantasies. My logic was blocked with my careless impulses. For the first time in my life, I went after something I want without paying that much attention to what others might say. For the first time in my life I’ve learned to let go of my worries, I’ve learned to take the risk, I’ve learned to gather up my courage and fight for what I thought would make me happy… and then I woke up!
I finally came across reality and realized I wasn’t Cinderella after all. I was just an ordinary girl with an extraordinary imagination. I found out that he was somebody else’s prince, not mine. I was just his confidante, nothing more and nothing less. And surprisingly, it feels good to leave things that way. I’ve accepted that fact wholeheartedly; no regrets, bitterness nor whatsoever.
I may not have a “happily ever after” ending with him but still I believe ours was a happy ending. He became one of my precious collections; we became friends, we remained GOOD FRIENDS. I guess I have just mistaken the friendship for something else, something like… LOVE; but I knew better now.
xoxo,
Mae =)
xoxo,
Mae =)
