"I am sorry", he said....
Now what?... What then would happen after?...
I was caught off guard when he finally uttered those eight-letter words. I wasn't expecting that after those five long years that he had unknowingly broke my heart, he would then realize that he had done me wrong. I can't even count with my own fingers on how many times he'd hurt me. And maybe that constant pain he'd given me, transformed my heart into a nearly-calloused heart. Maybe during those times when he repeatedly left me broken and wounded, I eventually allowed myself to get used with the pain and turned my heart numb from everything else.
Honestly, I'm kind of doubtful about what he'd told me. I'm not sure if he did mean it when he said he was sorry, or did he just said it just for the heck of saying it! Or probably he knew it's Christmas season and he felt being humane, or probably he was just carried away with the "season of loving and sharing"!
I'm really confused. I'm caught between wanting to believe him because I want to vindicate ourselves for being so insanely stupid about handling the situation that we both brought onto ourselves in the first place and doubting his sincerity because of this fear that he's just sugar coating his words.
For now, I am still trying to weigh things. Maybe what I really want to happen is to see him say it directly to my face... I want to know how it really feels when he would look straight into my eyes and utter those words.
I want to be assured that this time the words he have said are for real, that he really meant it...
...and not just another empty words.
xoxo,
Mae =)
What's in him?
What's in his face?
and...
What's in his smile?...
"When I see you smile. I can face the world, oh oh,you know I can do anything. When I see you smile. I see a ray of light, oh oh,I see it shining right through the rain.
When I see you smile, Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me"... This song by Bad English would instantly play up in my head everytime he smiles at me. I don't really have any idea why but it feels so good everytime he shows off that dazzling smile of his.
Whenever I am near him, I am always silently on "the look out" for his gorgeous smile. Everytime me, him, and all our other friends are together I can't keep myself from wishing that he would flash his heart-melting smile at me.
I can even compare his smile to the sun because it could totally brighten up my day, especially if I have a gloomy one! Whenever I see him smile, I can't help but smile myself either. Yeah, that's the effect it has on me, it's quite CONTAGIOUS!
One smile from him every single day, could definitely make me happy and gay!!!
SMILE!!!
xoxo,
Mae =)
Wow! I'm overwhelmed with joy and delight!
I never thought that I would have the chance of seeing my name prominently printed on the newspaper.
From the moment I've learned to love writing, I've been wondering since then, "Will I ever get the chance of seeing my own name on the by line?"... SOMEDAY!... I kept telling myself that someday, in the near future, I know I would make it! And true enough, I did!...
Although it had taken a long time before I was able to see my name on the daily paper, still I'm glad that, finally, I've broken this unwanted fear within me of sharing my writings to the public. I told myself that if I want to experience the satisfying feeling of the "by line", then I should make it happen and not just wait for it to happen. That's the reason why I gathered all my courage and decided to e-mail one of my blog entry to a daily newspaper here in our place. Thanks to Thea (my classmate and frequent company in our university) for informing me about the "CROSSLINE" section of SUN.STAR daily and for encouraging me as well to send my 'work'. A million thankz to you Thetz!!!
And so after two weeks of waiting for my sent article, finally, on the Saturday issue of SUN.STAR daily dated December 6,2008, I've seen my very own name on the by line! I would never forget that moment, when at last, I've seen my name plastered and printed on the bottom of my article. Maybe for some, it's no big deal, but for me that was one of the most fulfilling experience I had in my entire life.
Indeed it pays to be courageous and to be a risk-taker once in a while. I know there will always be someone out there who wouldn't appreciate your work, but then again, it doesn't matter. As long as you know you haven't offended anyone, your motives are clean and you're writing because you love doing so, then go for it! Don't let anyone nor anything stop you from doing what you really love.
Learning to take your first step is never easy... but then again if you'll believe in yourself and if you believe that someone is watching over you up there, then surely you'll be able to make it through!
KUDOS to me for my first by line ever!!!
and
CHEERS to those who were never afraid to take their first steps!
xoxo,
Mae =)
This is one of my favorite track from the movie 'TWILIGHT'.... performed by Linkin Park *_*
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cuz no else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
CHORUS
When my time comes
Forget the world what I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be next
Don't resent me
When you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
CHORUS
Forgetting
All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
CHORUS
Forgetting
All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
xoxo,
Mae =)
Christmas is in the air
Yet i never seem to care
Wondrin' why i feel this way
When this is supposed to be fun and gay
I hope this feeling will go away
Get rid of it soon, if i may
To old St. Nick riding on his sleighed-reindeer
If i could make a wish this year
It's not for me to be rich and sexy
But for him to come back, 'coz i miss him dearly...
xoxo,
Mae =)
TWILIGHT is an action-packed, modern-day love story between a teenage girl and a vampire. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) has always been a little bit different, never caring about fitting in with the trendy girls at her Phoenix high school. When her mother re-marries and sends Bella to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she doesn't expect much of anything to change. Then she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a boy unlike any she's ever met. Edward is a vampire, but he doesn't have fangs and his family is unique in that they choose not to drink human blood. Intelligent and witty, Edward sees straight into Bella's soul. Soon, they are swept up in a passionate, thrilling and unorthodox romance. To Edward, Bella is what he has waited 90 years for - a soul mate. But the closer they get, the more Edward must struggle to resist the primal pull of her scent, which could send him into an uncontrollable frenzy. But what will Edward & Bella do when a clan of new vampires - James (Cam Gigandet), Laurent (Edi Gathegi) and Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) - come to town and threaten to disrupt their way of life?
ABOUT TWILIGHT: Based on the #1 New York Times Best-Selling series with over 17 million books in print by Stephenie Meyer, TWILIGHT is a cultural phenomenon, with a dedicated fan base that eagerly awaits this movie. There are over 350 fan sites devoted to TWILIGHT, and it has been chosen as the New York Times Editor's Choice, a Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year, Amazon's "Best Book of the Decade...So Far", Teen People's "Hot List" Pick, and The American Library Association's "Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults" and "Top Ten Books for Reluctant Readers," among others. Critically acclaimed director Catherine Hardwicke brings to life this modern, visual, and visceral Romeo & Juliet story of the ultimate forbidden love affair - between vampire and mortal.
(from TWILIGHT's official website)
xoxo,
Mae =)
